Hey there. It’s been quite some time since I’ve made time to write. Lots of things have been going on in my life and I feel like sharing some of it with you. I am feeling inspired and very grateful at this moment and I’d like to let you guys in on part of my personal life.
As some of you know, Brant and I got engaged in September of 2015. We were ecstatic and so ready to plan our lives together! Everything was perfect – almost too perfect, perhaps. While Brant and I (mostly I) were planning away, booking our venue, photographer, etc., his mother was having some health issues. We weren’t sure exactly what was going on, so she had several tests run over the course of a few weeks and still no answers. Finally, they diagnosed the problem.In October of 2015, they diagnosed her with Leukemia. We were all devastated about this news – how could a perfectly healthy woman with no family history of this disease all of a sudden be burdened with this? Why would this terrible thing happen to such an amazing family?
“From pain will emerge a deeper trust in God…a beauty we cannot imagine.”
Unfortunately, I still don’t know those answers, and I doubt I ever will, BUT…what I do know is that there is a purpose for all of it. I won’t go into detail about the journey my future family has been on, as there is no need, but just know it was painful.
We decided to stop all wedding planning and focus on his mom getting better, which was an easy decision to make, but I was sad I couldn’t focus on the wedding. Selfish is the word I like to use for that. Completely selfish of me. I had a “come-to-Jesus” meeting with myself and had to say, “GET OVER IT!”.
Fast forward to March of 2016. Brant’s mother has received a bone marrow transplant (PRAISE!!) She is slowly, but surely on the mend (and still is today..another PRAISE!) but we were still holding off on planning a wedding. We didn’t want to move forward unless we knew she would be okay to attend, free of problems and worries.
Fast forward to June of 2016. Still holding off, and I’m becoming even more antsy. I’m slightly freaking out because we don’t have a house to live in yet and we have yet to plan anything for the wedding we wanted to have in October 2016.
Let me stop here for a sec. I will say that this whole journey has taught me more about life, love, and trusting in God’s timing more than any other time in my life. This trial has tested mine and Brant’s relationship, tested my patience, tested my ability to love through the bad and ugly, and tested my strength. The entire time, I would try to find loop holes so I could start planning. I found loop holes, and God said a big, fat “LOL NOPE” in my face. Every time I tried to find ways around, it never worked out. Why? Because that’s not what God had planned for Brant and I. He will have it done His way, whether you like it or not! I learned that quickly.
I finally just gave up on wedding planning. I threw in the cards and decided that it will happen when it happens. I picked up dinner at InJapan (YUM) the week of my birthday, and my fortune from my fortune cookie said, “Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you.” Keep in mind that three months from June is October. I didn’t really think too much of it. On my birthday (June 23, 2016) Brant surprised me and told me we had a place to live until our house was finished, which meant….WEDDING PLANNING!
I don’t believe in fortunes, but I believe I got that specific fortune for a reason. I think that was God’s way of saying, “Chill out. I have this under control. I just needed you to trust me..I had other plans for you!”
Man..this whole journey has been a growing and learning experience. Trusting in Him was VERY hard at times. I cried a lot because I just couldn’t understand what He was doing. I got mad at times. I was bitter about it, honestly. But, here I am today, sitting at my computer writing about the past several months of my life, and thinking, “I finally get it. I finally see what He was doing and why He was doing it….”
If you’ve read this far, props to you. I know this was long, but for those that have been asking when the wedding date is and I brushed it off…this is why. But, now, I can gladly say that I’ll be getting married on October 7, 2016 to the love of my life, and his mother (my awesome, future MIL) will be there! I can’t wait!
If you’re going through some tough times right now and feel like things will never get better…they will. Please do better than I did. Just trust God completely. Don’t try to find those loop holes, because I can almost guarantee it won’t work. God is good, and you may not see it now, but everything is going to work out. It just may not be in the way you planned – God will take care of you.
Gotta get back to planning 😉
Until next time,